Radical Self Acceptance

In our white supremacist, patriarchal culture and capitalist society, we think that we need to always be better. Be more, do more, improve, strive. And we think that the way to get there is to push ourselves. Internally beat ourselves up. We think that if we’re just harder on ourselves, then we’ll work harder, do more things.

The idea of self acceptance is terrifying to many of us. What do you mean accept myself? How can I be better if I accept myself?

The word acceptance becomes conflated with complacency, and even laziness. We imagine that if we accept ourselves as we are then we will sit down and and do nothing. And we’re terrified of laziness. We’re terrified of rest.

Self acceptance is tricky because it is truly a paradox. The more we accept ourselves and learn how to give ourselves compassion and care and understanding, the better we feel inside. The better we feel, the more motivation and inspiration and life energy we have! These become catalysts for growth and transformation.

When pressure ourselves to change, the pressure and shame weigh us down, contract us, and create tightness, tension, and frozenness inside of us. There is literally no room or space for growth.

As soon as we start to learn to love and accept ourselves as we are, so much pressure is relieved. Spaciousness opens up inside of us, and in flows energy, inspiration, life force, joy! From there we have the space to naturally grow and transform in life. Or we can just hang out, enjoying ourselves exactly as we are, enjoying life exactly as it is.

So go easy on yourself. Give yourself love and compassion and understanding. Rest, be lazy, allow yourself to just BE. The freedom and liberation you desire will follow.